What would you give up?

[imported from www.xanga.com/avrilchan] 

I just watched City of Angels on TV. Watching Seth, so able, so willing to give up all he had (and all he ever knew) just to have the ability to feel.

What would you give up for the chance to feel anything you want, and what would you want to feel?

I dont know what I would be willing to give up, but I know what I want.

                         To go back in time. 

Why, I dont know. Back to my high school days, to feel the happiness, see the smiles, hear the laughter,…to be me once more. If only I had the power.

    Would I choose her as a friend this time around?

I dont know. Part of me wants to go through all the times we had again, have fun again,…and if it happens again, I’ll try not to question myself too much.

The other part says to me..since I do have the power, why not just let go? Pretend it (the friendship, the sisterhood) never happened. Since I already know the outcome, why change the future?

But then again,..back to the main reason. I want to go back in time to feel. To be happy with myself. And it wouldnt be the same if I chose choice #2.

          Cause then I wouldnt be me, would I then?

                          “I’d rather have

                          One breath of her hair

                          One kiss of her mouth

                          One touch of her hand

                          Than eternity without it

                                       One”

          -Nicholas Cage as Seth in City of Angels-

Or maybe I would just give it all up not to feel. Especially this rotten about her.

Currently Watching City of Angels By Nicolas Cage, Meg Ryan see related

Randomisation

[imported from www.xanga.com/avrilchan] 

Today I think Ive seen just about enough to let me die happy. I woke up today at 6am with yet another terrible sorethroat (thank you, CELINE!) and left my house for college at 7am (man, college on SATURDAYS!). Wasnt listening at all to my lecturer talk about the 1992-2010 New National Agricultural Policy (NAP2). Well, at least I knew what she was talking about right..? Begged a ride to the LRT station and rushed to Asia Jaya to meet Alvo. Waited for awhile for him to appear..I expected him to be in black..but hooooolyyyyy mackarel. Sigh. I really, really do not know how to put this description embossed in my mind (and memory, mind you!) into words. I will let you see it for yourself. Behold..Alvo de Salvo a.k.a. Dumb Blonde. [Edit: Picture of Alvin with blond hair missing] After the meeting with Ju-Eng and the Brats I hitched a ride with Debbie, and she sent me to the Asia Jaya LRT Station. I got off at a traffic light actually, because she had to turn right to get onto the highway and the station was on the left (well you get the picture) and there right in fronta my stunned eyes, an accident happened..a poor Malay guy just crashed and fell with his big bike and hit the ground with an impact so forceful his exhaust pipe broke and his jeans tore. Man, I was like gasping out loud and talking to myself, I was about to dash across the road (there were a lot of cars) when he got up himself and started to push his bike to the divider. Then two police cars stopped and the policemen got out to help him so i guess he’s ok. Hope he is. Some people can be so inconsiderate because a few of them honked at him. Idiots. Later that day I went to Rumah Hope (an orphanage), spent a few hours there with the kids, then went to the Taman Megah Home for the Disabled and met these poor pitiful children there..it nearly broke my heart to see their plight. Well, the Brats latest project is to raise yet another hundred thousand for PICU (Paedriatic Intensive Care Unit) to buy their ventilators. Does anyone know where I can find a wholesellor who is willing to sponsor/donate flowers? Let me know, 017-6522945. Thank you in advance. In the evening I arranged for Joey to meet up with my mum to get the car from her. I dunnoe about you guys, but I still get that amazing thrill I get when Im behind the wheel of a car..I just LOVE it…driving signifies freedom and independence to me, I guess. To my babykins..I LOVE YOU! Muaks Currently Watching Liar Liar (Collector’s Edition) By Jim Carrey, Maura Tierney see related

Denise

[imported from www.xanga.com/avrilchan] 

[Edit: Some pictures missing ] For those of you who dont know, this is my little sis. Not quite so little anymore, as I oh-so-recently discovered. Where have all those years gone? The last two pictures are from her print ad, with her on-screen family. The one on the left is a close up. She’s all big now, eh? *Sigh* p/s: In case you’re wondering, she is eleven plus of age. Turning 12 this 25th. Currently Playing Through the Rain / Bringin on Heartbreak By Mariah Carey Track One-Through the Rain! see related

Unscientific Answers

[imported from www.xanga.com/avrilchan] 

Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing, And your voice caught within your chest?
It isn’t Love, it’s Like.
You can’t keep your eyes or hands off of them, am I right?
It isn’t Love, it’s Lust.
Are you proud, and eager to show them off?
It isn’t Love, it’s Luck.
Do you want them because you know they’re there?
It isn’t Love, it’s Loneliness.
Are you there because it’s what everyone wants?
It isn’t Love, it’s Loyalty.
Do you stay for their confessions of Love, because you don’t want to hurt them?
It isn’t Love, it’s Pity.
Are you there because they kissed you, or held your hand?
It isn’t Love, it’s being Unconfident.
Do you belong to them because their sight makes your heart skip a beat?
It isn’t Love, it’s Infatuation.
Do you pardon their faults because you care about them?
It isn’t Love, it’s Friendship.
Do you tell them every day they are the only one you think of?
It isn’t Love, it’s a Lie.
Are you willing to give all of your favorite things for their sake?
It isn’t Love, it’s Charity.

Does your heart ache and break when they’re sad?
Then it’s Love.
Are you attracted to others, but stay with them faithfully without regret?
Then it’s Love.
Do you accept their faults because they’re a part of who they are?
Then it’s Love.
Do you cry for their pain, even when they’re strong?
Then it’s Love.
Do their eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts?
Then it’s Love.
But do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and elation pulls you close and holds you?
Then it’s Love.
Would you give them your heart, your life, your death?

Then it’s Love.

Now, if Love is painful, and tortures us so,
why do we Love?
Why is it all we search for in life?
This pain, this agony?
Why is it all we long for?
This torture, this powerful death of self?
Why?
Because it’s…

LOVE

Currently Playing The Best of Olivia Newton-John By Olivia Newton-John see related

And because I do :)

[imported from www.xanga.com/avrilchan] 

 

Ahh..love my baby..*sigh* This was Valentines..

With every breath I take

[imported from www.xanga.com/avrilchan] 

You know what? I really, really love my baby. Being with him is awesome, every minute of it…its been a year and one month now..it just seems like yesterday..

Sure, we’ve had our ups and downs, our failures, but with each step we take, our Love grows stronger..aihhhh Im just soooo in Love!

I Love You darling!

<3

[imported from www.xanga.com/avrilchan] 

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Copperhead

[imported from www.xanga.com/avrilchan]

(Picture is missing – But my super long hair was orange in colour here)

This is how my hair looked like for like, 2 days last year. Had this L0reaL job thingamajig.