[imported from www.xanga.com/avrilchan]
I think I got over it because I met her on Weds and Thurs.Three sentences or so was exchanged:-“Bye, I’m going for class,” says her. (On Weds afternoon)“Bye, I’m going for class,” says her. (On Thurs afternoon)“Bye, I’m going home,” says her. (On Thurs evening)To all, I nodded. And smiled..and said bye to a couple, I think.I dont know. I really dont. But Im not into fake-ies. Not those who ignore or walk away from me when we meet in MidValley but bid a cheerful “Hi!” to me in front of our friends. C’mon. You know thats bullshit. Maybe you’re trying to make up? I cant trust nor believe in you right now. Sorry for being me. This was my blog entry for April 8th and April 10th.Blog number one.
Twas hard living away from close friends and family. I called, I emailed and I kept sane. Life was hectic there as no one cared enouf for each other to help each other out. I was home every weekend to spend every waking moment with my friends and loved ones. I tried my best to be myself and to make the distance gap seem small.
Efforts were all in vain. I lost more than just my friends. I lost my bosom buddies, my girlfriends, my sisters. Whether they thought I was a stucked up b*tch or what I dont know. Maybe they just gave up waiting me to be there for them. I never found out.
I will never know what went wrong along the lines, I will never know whose fault it was, what was it that was commited..what I know it just this:-
To my once-upon-a-time sisters, Im still here for you, believe it or not. Here like the dumb ass I am, clinging on the every hope left in me. Its the memories that are keeping this so called relationship alive and Im willing to give it my best shot if things can just *i dont know*,…go back to what it once was. This lone ranger is sick of traveling alone.
Blog number two
But she did prove to me in the end she was there for me. And for that, I am eternally grateful. Connecting with her that night was something so new after so long, but yet so familiar and so welcomed. To tell you the truth I have no idea still what happened between us later on. Now we’re back to being mere acquaintances. Her photos and memories of us are splashed all over my room. Its hard to forget the person you once shared secrets with, you know..and shopped together, and bullied people together,..and washed toilets with. Its not easy. I wish she’d just write me a hate letter and be done with it, so i’ll stop hanging on to this last thread of sanity. I wish I could somehow explain to her, or to make her see why, and to be rid of all these questions and ‘what ifs’ in my mind.
I wish I could determine where I stand once and for all.
True friends never have to say- ‘Thats what friends are for’I dunnoe what to believe in anymore.
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Currently Watching Mrs. Doubtfire By Robin Williams, Sally Field see related |
