What would you give up?

[imported from www.xanga.com/avrilchan] 

I just watched City of Angels on TV. Watching Seth, so able, so willing to give up all he had (and all he ever knew) just to have the ability to feel.

What would you give up for the chance to feel anything you want, and what would you want to feel?

I dont know what I would be willing to give up, but I know what I want.

                         To go back in time. 

Why, I dont know. Back to my high school days, to feel the happiness, see the smiles, hear the laughter,…to be me once more. If only I had the power.

    Would I choose her as a friend this time around?

I dont know. Part of me wants to go through all the times we had again, have fun again,…and if it happens again, I’ll try not to question myself too much.

The other part says to me..since I do have the power, why not just let go? Pretend it (the friendship, the sisterhood) never happened. Since I already know the outcome, why change the future?

But then again,..back to the main reason. I want to go back in time to feel. To be happy with myself. And it wouldnt be the same if I chose choice #2.

          Cause then I wouldnt be me, would I then?

                          “I’d rather have

                          One breath of her hair

                          One kiss of her mouth

                          One touch of her hand

                          Than eternity without it

                                       One”

          -Nicholas Cage as Seth in City of Angels-

Or maybe I would just give it all up not to feel. Especially this rotten about her.

Currently Watching City of Angels By Nicolas Cage, Meg Ryan see related

Untitled: Really lor

[imported from www.xanga.com/avrilchan] 

I am at the moment, watching The First Wives Club, a movie based on a novel by my all-time favourite author, Olivia Goldsmith.

And it reeks.

Yuck. More comments later, I can’t wait to get it over with.

Catch ya later.

Currently Watching The First Wives Club By Bette Midler, Goldie Hawn, Diane Keaton see related

a.v.r.i.l.c.h.a.n.

[imported from www.xanga.com/avrilchan] 

A Astonishing / Appealing V Virile / Valiant R Relaxing / Radical I Important / Inspirational L Lovable / Light C Creative H Humorous A Appealing N Nerdy Name / Username: Name Acronym Generator From Go-Quiz.com

True Friends never say goodbye

[imported from www.xanga.com/avrilchan] 

 I think I got over it because I met her on Weds and Thurs.Three sentences or so was exchanged:-“Bye, I’m going for class,” says her. (On Weds afternoon)“Bye, I’m going for class,” says her. (On Thurs afternoon)“Bye, I’m going home,” says her. (On Thurs evening)To all, I nodded. And smiled..and said bye to a couple, I think.I dont know. I really dont. But Im not into fake-ies. Not those who ignore or walk away from me when we meet in MidValley but bid a cheerful “Hi!” to me in front of our friends. C’mon. You know thats bullshit. Maybe you’re trying to make up? I cant trust nor believe in you right now. Sorry for being me. This was my blog entry for April 8th and April 10th.Blog number one.

Twas hard living away from close friends and family. I called, I emailed and I kept sane. Life was hectic there as no one cared enouf for each other to help each other out. I was home every weekend to spend every waking moment with my friends and loved ones. I tried my best to be myself and to make the distance gap seem small.

Efforts were all in vain. I lost more than just my friends. I lost my bosom buddies, my girlfriends, my sisters. Whether they thought I was a stucked up b*tch or what I dont know. Maybe they just gave up waiting me to be there for them. I never found out.

I will never know what went wrong along the lines, I will never know whose fault it was, what was it that was commited..what I know it just this:-

To my once-upon-a-time sisters, Im still here for you, believe it or not. Here like the dumb ass I am, clinging on the every hope left in me. Its the memories that are keeping this so called relationship alive and Im willing to give it my best shot if things can just *i dont know*,…go back to what it once was. This lone ranger is sick of traveling alone.

Blog number two

But she did prove to me in the end she was there for me. And for that, I am eternally grateful. Connecting with her that night was something so new after so long, but yet so familiar and so welcomed. To tell you the truth I have no idea still what happened between us later on. Now we’re back to being mere acquaintances. Her photos and memories of us are splashed all over my room. Its hard to forget the person you once shared secrets with, you know..and shopped together, and bullied people together,..and washed toilets with. Its not easy. I wish she’d just write me a hate letter and be done with it, so i’ll stop hanging on to this last thread of sanity. I wish I could somehow explain to her, or to make her see why, and to be rid of all these questions and ‘what ifs’ in my mind.

I wish I could determine where I stand once and for all.

True friends never have to say- ‘Thats what friends are for’I dunnoe what to believe in anymore.

Currently Watching Mrs. Doubtfire By Robin Williams, Sally Field see related

Randomisation

[imported from www.xanga.com/avrilchan] 

Today I think Ive seen just about enough to let me die happy. I woke up today at 6am with yet another terrible sorethroat (thank you, CELINE!) and left my house for college at 7am (man, college on SATURDAYS!). Wasnt listening at all to my lecturer talk about the 1992-2010 New National Agricultural Policy (NAP2). Well, at least I knew what she was talking about right..? Begged a ride to the LRT station and rushed to Asia Jaya to meet Alvo. Waited for awhile for him to appear..I expected him to be in black..but hooooolyyyyy mackarel. Sigh. I really, really do not know how to put this description embossed in my mind (and memory, mind you!) into words. I will let you see it for yourself. Behold..Alvo de Salvo a.k.a. Dumb Blonde. [Edit: Picture of Alvin with blond hair missing] After the meeting with Ju-Eng and the Brats I hitched a ride with Debbie, and she sent me to the Asia Jaya LRT Station. I got off at a traffic light actually, because she had to turn right to get onto the highway and the station was on the left (well you get the picture) and there right in fronta my stunned eyes, an accident happened..a poor Malay guy just crashed and fell with his big bike and hit the ground with an impact so forceful his exhaust pipe broke and his jeans tore. Man, I was like gasping out loud and talking to myself, I was about to dash across the road (there were a lot of cars) when he got up himself and started to push his bike to the divider. Then two police cars stopped and the policemen got out to help him so i guess he’s ok. Hope he is. Some people can be so inconsiderate because a few of them honked at him. Idiots. Later that day I went to Rumah Hope (an orphanage), spent a few hours there with the kids, then went to the Taman Megah Home for the Disabled and met these poor pitiful children there..it nearly broke my heart to see their plight. Well, the Brats latest project is to raise yet another hundred thousand for PICU (Paedriatic Intensive Care Unit) to buy their ventilators. Does anyone know where I can find a wholesellor who is willing to sponsor/donate flowers? Let me know, 017-6522945. Thank you in advance. In the evening I arranged for Joey to meet up with my mum to get the car from her. I dunnoe about you guys, but I still get that amazing thrill I get when Im behind the wheel of a car..I just LOVE it…driving signifies freedom and independence to me, I guess. To my babykins..I LOVE YOU! Muaks Currently Watching Liar Liar (Collector’s Edition) By Jim Carrey, Maura Tierney see related

Ib ick! :(

[imported from www.xanga.com/avrilchan] 

Translated : Im sick.

Currently Watching Interview with the Vampire – DTS By Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt see related

Busy ma?

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Am so so sorry people, havent had the time to blog as of late. Alot of assignments due, and I have not sorted out what i want to say yet. A thousand apologies. Will update soon. Thanks for being here.

Currently Watching Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back By Kevin Smith, Jason Mewes see related

Denise

[imported from www.xanga.com/avrilchan] 

[Edit: Some pictures missing ] For those of you who dont know, this is my little sis. Not quite so little anymore, as I oh-so-recently discovered. Where have all those years gone? The last two pictures are from her print ad, with her on-screen family. The one on the left is a close up. She’s all big now, eh? *Sigh* p/s: In case you’re wondering, she is eleven plus of age. Turning 12 this 25th. Currently Playing Through the Rain / Bringin on Heartbreak By Mariah Carey Track One-Through the Rain! see related

Xanga then!

[imported from www.xanga.com/avrilchan] 

xanga is a real  cool place to vent and to rant. Currently Playing New Fair Lady (Cantonese) (+ Bonus Vcd) By Sammi Cheng see related

Bish?

[imported from www.xanga.com/avrilchan] 

Awww man.

It just hit me. Im freaking alone. Awww man..

Currently Watching Robinson Crusoe see related